2020 – you are going to be good to me.

Something I have learned from my 24 years on this planet is that sometimes you have to speak things into existence. Sometimes you have to grab life by the throat and demand it to be good to you. That is 2020 for me. The hardest year of my life would hands down be 2019. I lost one of the most important people in my life in a tragic way. Everything was left unsaid. There is so much regret and all the things I could have done circle in my mind every single day. It feels like a form of torture that may just never end for me. There will never be a day where I will forget or it will feel easier. I just hope there is a day where I forgive myself for all that I did not do or say.

Although 2019 was my rock bottom, I also realized that I do not want to feel that way again. I want to be happy again. The things that used to excite me, do not anymore and I refuse to let that be. Even though my love is gone and the world ripped them away from me in an unfair way, I have to find some light at some point. 2019 may have broke me down, but 2020 is the year I prove just how strong it made me.

Speak it into existence…

Seriously though, speak it into existence and it may just happen for you or me. I wake up every morning and stare at myself in the mirror and remind myself how great I am, how my pain does not define me and how there is still light in this dark world. The more I have been repeating that, the more I am starting to believe it. I can not tell you that I am feeling great and I am not depressed or anxious, because that would be a lie or I would be in over my head. Instead, I will say…I am trying. I am trying to be a better person, count my blessings, pray, believe in myself, believe that the future holds good things, etc. There will always be days where you or me will break down and feel a deep pain in our chests.

There will be days where you may not want to have more days to your life because you feel hopeless and terrified for the future.

However, on the bright side, there will also be days filled with hope and rainbows. There will be days where you make someone who feels helpless, smile and you will smile too. You will find purpose in those days. There may not be many of those days right now and they may come at you in short waves. But they will come and the current only gets stronger with time.

Grab life by the throat this year

Seriously, do it. Demand it to be good to you. Have a positive attitude and believe that it is going to be a good year. Your life is what you make it. Sometimes you will need to use up some of your energy to tell yourself and tell life that it is going to be good and positive things will happen. Speak it into existence and you will notice things will fall into place much more often. When you are negative and believe bad things will keep coming your way, you are only setting yourself up to notice only the negative. Even though, there could be ten great things surrounding you, you will ignore it if your attitude is directing you to believe that life is just not going to be great to you.

Life is short

I could tattoo that on my body at this point. It is so short and I repeat that to everyone. You are not even promised tomorrow in this world. Heck, you are not even promised one hour from now. That goes the same for those around you too so treat them like this could always be the last moment with them. Appreciate every single moment you have because you just never know when the last moment will be. I repeat life is short to myself all the time so I can remind myself to take risks and smile more often. I do not stress over the little things because by tomorrow, half of those teeny tiny worries will not matter.

2020 – looking forward to your greatness

This year I am focusing on myself, I am trying new things and I am reminding myself to smile more. 2020 is going to be a great year and it is going to be filled with a lot of growth. If you have not, set some personal growth goals for yourself. Try something new – I am starting an aerial silk dancing class soon and am absolutely terrified since it is so out of my comfort zone. But that is what keeps life exciting – pushing yourself and doing things that are out of that comfort zone you created for yourself.

Happy 2020 and may this New Year and decade bring upon growth, happiness and great health!


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