Frequently Asked Relationship Questions #HonestlyElda Part 2

If you missed the last segment for #HonestlyElda, check it out by clicking here.

I received many requests to do another post for frequently asked relationship questions. I decided it was time to do it, I mean why not help you guys out. Surprisingly, mainly guys submitted questions to me. I find that males can not ask for advice as much as females can. Not that they can not…they just feel embarrassed for whatever reason. Since these are completely anonymous and I do not post who asked me, they feel comfortable asking me the question. All of these questions were submitted to my Instagram. If you do not follow me, please do by clicking here. 

FREQUENTLY ASKED RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS

“What effects does social media have on a relationship in 2018?”

Social media can have a huge impact on relationships nowadays. However, I always stop myself and ask, “Is social media the actual problem or is it just technology in general or people’s values in general?” People love to blame social media as the reason why people cheat or get tempted or do not have time for a relationship. Is that really the actual problem? People have been cheating or having affairs since the beginning of time. There was a higher rate of polygamy before and that was a societal norm. People love to attach blame to something physical though. Social media being the easiest thing to blame for relationship problems. The only thing social media does is makes it easier for people to find out what their significant other is doing.

I think the biggest impact social media has on a relationship is that you can literally stalk the person you are with. You can see the photos they like, the people they are interacting with, etc. Nothing is kept private on there. People want to look cute for their Instagram with their significant other so they take all these happy looking photos. Are they really happy though? Or is it just an act for the gram? So does social media impact relationships? Maybe. But I think it impacts individuals a lot more. It impact people’s expectations and values. Those new values humans have adopted are the bigger issue towards their relationship.

I was in a relationship where my boyfriend did not want me to even like the opposite sex’s photos. This was absurd to me. I am one of those people who scroll through my feed and like absolutely everything before I even look at it. Social media has just created a platform that triggers insecurities and craziness. So it definitely can impact a relationship. However, it is what it does to an individual that is far worse.

“After being really hurt by a girl, is it wrong that I automatically do not trust any girl or find it hard to open up to any now?”

This can be applied to both males and females when hurt by their significant other. Sometimes you may go through an extremely toxic relationship and be traumatized. That is completely normal. I have been through a really terrible, abusive relationship in the past. After that I thought there was zero hope for men out there for me. I did not want to date and I was angry at all men after that. Eventually, I began to enjoy being single. I became okay with solitude. This ended up resulting in me appreciating those around me and having an overall respect for people again. You just need to remain positive.

Not all people are the same even though it feels like that sometimes. You have to always believe that there is good in every single person. If someone is unkind to you it is just because it is not meant to be with them. They are not your person. You will find someone way better. Try to be content with being on your own and find something that you enjoy doing to waste your time with. With time, someone will come around and show you why it never worked out with anyone else. You just have to be patient and go through a few frogs before getting to your Prince/Princess. Good luck!!

“What are three characteristics every relationship should possess?”

There is an endless amount of characteristics every relationship should possess. However, the top three I believe are: communication, being able to be calm with one another and the ability to lighten the mood/make jokes of situations. Life can already be hard, your relationship should be your escape from your other stressful barriers in life. Not be an added stress. It is so important for relationships to possess strong communication skills. Without communication, relationships become meaningless. They are hard to hold on to because there is no talks of the persons feelings, what they are doing, etc. This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. I know that for me personally, if someone is not communicating with me my mind goes everywhere. I have not heard from them for a few days? They probably are with someone else. Or so my brain tells me. COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!!

The second thing, being able to be calm with one another, is so important. Do not be with someone who constantly erupts with emotions at you. Find someone who you can have adult conversations with without the constant yelling. What does yelling get anyone? Being able to be understanding and talk to each other in a relaxed voice, makes everything so much easier to resolve. Even when I am dealing with a break up, I always talk to them in a cool, calm and collected manner. This has just helped me articulate my thoughts better and end on civil terms. I have obviously had someone backlash and start yelling but that is why we are not together. I can not handle someone who is constantly freaking out and can not be an adult with conversations.

The third characteristic is to be able to just lighten the mood in rough times. If you are with someone who is not able to lighten your mood when you are anxious or upset in anyway, they are not the one. We all face troubles in life and as I said earlier, your relationship should be your escape from that. Every relationship has issues but your person should be able to make you laugh and feel better during rough times. When a loved one passes away, you need them there to make you smile. When you are angry at your boss at work, you need them there to calm you down before you quit on impulse. It is so important to have that person that makes you realize that everything has a bright side.

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