I was guilty of believing in this too for a while when I was younger and naive. I became convinced that if a guy hurts me, he still loves me. This might have all stemmed from the idea of boys who tease you have a crush on you when we were kids. We were told that love is pain and people who love you always hurt you. As you grow older, you realize how false that statement is.
Females were raised to believe this atrocious lie.
Most of us grow out of this lie and realize after being hurt multiple times that this is the furthest thing from love. How could someone cheating on you be love? Or someone manipulating you? Someone making you feel insecure? These all are not love. In fact, they may just be the opposite. People who love you raise you up and never want to hurt you.
One thing I will never tell my daughter in elementary and middle school is that the boy picking on her has a crush on her. Even if he does. Parents need to do a better job with teaching their kids how to treat one another. They make their sons feel like it is okay to tease girls they like. Girls are told that, that is a good thing. From that moment, you are stemming in their heads that pain is love. When in fact, it was not then and it will not be now.
You grow older and get into more serious relationships with serious problems. You start to create excuses for people who are disrespecting you. “They were going through a hard time.” “They fell into temptation.” The list of excuses can go on forever. None of them are valid. Know your worth. Do not fall for this downwards spiral that was instilled into most of our brains.
Girls getting cheated on…
I have seen girls get cheated on and completely embarrassed yet take back the guy. This confuses me every single time. If someone publicly humiliated you and decided to sleep with someone else, how is that love? It is not. They can say whatever they want to say and you can make up every excuse in the book for them. At the end of the day, the trust is broken. If someone did not respect you enough already once to cheat on you, they will do it again. Do not be someone’s puppet because you are holding onto this idea of love that is harming you.
People who love you will never let you question that!
Love is love. It is undeniable. Think about it…the people you love, do you let them question that love? Do you ever do anything that may show them that you do not care about them potentially causing them to be insecure? Probably not. So why would you tolerate that behavior from someone else?
KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH!
This is something I can not reiterate enough! Remind yourself of your value and what you deserve. You allowing someone to come into your life and disrespect, lie and manipulate you shows you do not respect yourself. Be strong enough to know what you deserve and demand that respect always! Do not ever be easy on someone who disrespects you because hey, I would hope your mama taught you better than that!
You deserve someone who cherishes you and reminds you of their love for you everyday. Not someone who has a wandering eye for everyone else too. What is the point of being involved in something like that?
There will always be someone else who will treat you WAY better!
Never ever feel like this is your only option and you will be alone forever if you walk away from it. There will ALWAYS be someone who is going to treat you way better, love you harder and make you happier! It may not seem like that could possibly be true but it is. God did not choose your soulmate as a person who makes you feel like crap! Most definitely not a person who sleeps with anyone but you. He definitely has something better in store for you. Just wait for that! Be patient and love yourself and your real relationship will come rolling into your life.