Elda Shawil

I can tell you a list of things like you need to work hard to get what you want or I can tell you that you should only trust yourself. I can give you all of this advice to surround yourself around work and loneliness. But I do not want to. Not anymore. I may have put my career and education first before. To the point where I only worsened my anxiety. I may have told those around you that the most important thing is to be successful and then worry about others after. However, I am here to tell you that I was wrong. Wrong is not even the word for what that thought process is. It was erroneous. Although erroneous means “wrong” technically, it just sounds more intense. So we are going to say I was erroneous when I told you to put your career above all else.

I was erroneous.

Maybe I learned this too late and it may be the hardest pill to swallow. However, I am here to hopefully save at least one of you from making the same mistake I did. I didn’t jump on that plane and risk it all, I did not fall so in love I felt my heart turn into a butterfly. But I want you to jump on that plane I did not jump on. Learn to let your heart feel like that butterfly and let it pound to the beat of someone’s name. I am not a corny individual so that was probably the corniest thing I have ever written.

You may have not jumped on that plane.

But it is okay if you have not yet. Just like me, I did not jump on that plane or let my heart feel anything. However, I promised myself from now on that I need to share more of myself with those around me that truly care about me. Although my career is important and my success hinders on my effort I put into my work. I now understand that it should not be above all else in life. Your success can travel with you anywhere and it does not mean anything if you have no one to share it with.

I lost someone who meant a lot to me.

So I had to lose someone to really swallow this difficult lesson. I can not bring them back to life and there is nothing I can do anymore. When I was told they were gone, it felt like my whole world was crashing in front of me. Everything I was hiding and scared of came out of me. It was as if I bottled everything up about this person and God decided to teach me the cruelest lesson of them all. I didn’t jump on the plane for this person so God took them away from me. My life will never be the same and a part of my heart will always be tender now.

However, I asked myself a question: Do I want to live in misery and regret OR do I want to take this situation and turn it into a life lesson? Do I want to be a better person? Yes I do.

But how was I going to be this better person?

I do not exactly know how to tell you to be a better version of yourself as everyone is different. However, one thing is for certain…my career is now not above all else. Although I do place huge importance on where I want to be in life and achieving my goals. I am learning to make time for those around me who put in effort and show me love on a regular basis.

Let’s get one thing straight. I am not telling you to put your work and education on the back burner. Actually, I will tell you to work towards your goals as hard as you can especially while you are young. But never forget those around you while doing so. Make some time for your best friend on a Saturday afternoon, give that person who moved to a different city a phone call to ask them how they are doing. Do not be the person who easily loses connections with others.

I did not get on that plane.

I mean that in the most literal way. Your plane may not be a plane but mine was. His life plans did not align with mine, so I decided it was best I shut myself out. I did not want to hop on that plane to get closer to them even though they asked me to. I convinced myself that because our plans do not align, it was best I disappeared. Oh how I regret disappearing now that they have disappeared from this earth.

Now my brain repeats to me, “What if you did get on that plane? Would they still be here? Could you have saved them?” These are questions I will never know the answer to. In the beginning, I could not handle not knowing the answer to them. But now, I realized maybe this was a lesson and a huge wake up call to better myself as an individual. I wish God sent me this message in a different way but he has a funny way of showing you your path.

Whatever it is, just do it with your entire being.

This could be you giving your entire effort when you are falling in love with someone. It could even be you planning out a fun activity for your family, friends, colleagues, etc. This could mean putting all your effort into a project you are conducting that can change your life and those around you. Just whatever you do, do it with everything. Do it with every fibre in you. But I beg of you, do not lose sight of those positive people around you that make you smile. You really do not know how long they will be around for.

Seriously, you can wake up one day to a phone call that they are gone. Just like that. In a blink of an eye, you will only have memories left of those person. Make those memories count so you can look back and know you made that person’s life a little more special before they were gone. Those memories will remind you how special they were and how much happiness they brought into your life. You do not want to look back and wonder what would have happened if you put more effort in with them or all the memories you could have had.

I realizing that you do not have as much time with those around you as you may believe you do.

It is always a difficult pill to swallow when you lose someone dear to you. But one thing that could make it easier is looking back at those happy memories. Unfortunately, one of the average human’s vice is that they believe they have more time than they do. We really do not. You could have another hour with the people who mean the most, maybe another month, or longer. What would you want them to know? How do you want them to feel? Stop waiting around and just say it, do it, do whatever your heart feels like doing. Put your all into those around you even if sometimes, that love is not reciprocated and you get hurt. As long as you put your all into it, you will never be able to look back with guilt.

Promise yourself you will pour your love into the world.

I promise you the more positivity, kindness, love and generosity you pour into the world, you will receive the same back. Even if sometimes you feel like you are only getting back the negative, just keep pouring out love. The world is only kind to those who are kind to the world. So be kind, be kind, be kind. I promise you will never regret the love you choose to pour into the world. Little do you know the world needs a lot more love than you may believe.

 

All I ask now is for everyone reading this to stop reading now and go tell someone you love how much you care about them. Get on that plane and risk your heart.

I can promise you the next time I get the opportunity, I will jump on that plane too.

 

 

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